| (no subject) |
[Jul. 1st, 2008|09:50 am] |
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i guess it's easy to call someone like me a "flaker". it's easy to have no sympathy because that's what i ask for, me and my indecisive mind and my constant penchant for screwing up the good things in my life. that's why im not asking for pity, or compassion, or any ounce of sympathy from anyone who hears my sad tale. suck it up and move forward. that's the mantra from now on. |
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| breaking the silence |
[Jun. 10th, 2008|10:31 pm] |
a good friend once told me that he never speaks unless it is to say something of importance, something of worth. after hearing that, i found reason in my ability to keep my mouth shut. you see, i value silence. it gives you a chance to observe, learn, discover things, so that when you speak, you've heard or seen enough to make a sensible statement.
i know it might be quite late but i'd still like to share a little snippet of the birthday that passed. even if i didn't get to throw a bash to top the one i had last year, it was still a pretty good this year. simple and spent with people who mean the most. this photograph's a rarity, which is why the most sablay shot is the cutest :)
it's an amazing and bittersweet thing, how things change over time. and how time flies so fast. i'd never even noticed it but i'm going on my third month in my first real job and how much things have changed for everyone, in three short months. i remember how i sat at a desk in january thinking this isn't where i am supposed to be, and feeling sorry for myself, wanting to do something not in the walls of that cold, cold room on salcedo. now, where am i? and where is everyone? nothing ever remains as they are.
more than anything lately, i've been feeling fear. there are still so many things i want to do, experience, achieve. what happens if you never make it? this is reality and life shits you not. oftentimes, it doesn't seem as if i've done (or am doing) enough to get to the places i want to be. if everything was based on what's written on paper, i should be farther ahead, but i'm surrounded by people who have tapped into their niches early on in their game, and i'm still centuries behind. |
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| its 10_44 pm RANDOM! |
[May. 5th, 2008|10:43 pm] |
i think that it's great to have dreams and visions but if you don't get up off your ass, nothing will happen to your dreams. they will literally rot and die and decompose and vanish forever. which is why im so excited that finally the first ever meeting for the ambitious ambition of a negosyo has been set and please Lord sana may maachieve kame!
and i'm so antsy i want to enroll in that make-up course but yes, money you are the hadlang to everything!
and i'm starting to get so sick of the way things, topics, situations keep recurring and never change. how it ends up that the same things are talked about, the same actions are done, the same issues are still there like stains of mud on a white polo shirt that won't wash off. |
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| wow |
[Apr. 15th, 2008|12:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  weh | ] |
oh how i've fallen out of the blogging world.
2 weeks into the new job, the first one at that, there's already a lot of drama. unnecessary crap. a five-decade old immaturity.
can't say it's anything new. it's just amazing how funny it is every damn time. let's keep counting my faults, shall we?
in consolation, there's a really cool bangkok-y something coming my way. he. he. shallow heart! |
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| silence |
[Mar. 26th, 2008|10:07 pm] |
And it's just pure magic how he turns everything into an opportunity to be so damn stupendous.
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| Falling Under the Influence of Post-Valentine's Day Echas |
[Feb. 15th, 2008|03:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hoohoo! | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | lalalalalaaaa! | ] |
I'll make this short and sweet, just like how v-day was for me. Whaaat.
So it's kinda weird how last year, I was all about LIBERATION!! EMBRACE THE SINGLE LIFE!! And while it was all good and those were definitely fun times (I can still remember 2 boys and 2 girls atop petron trying to make the most of the night. HAHAHA you know who you are), it's really fun and kilig when some elements change, right? Simply put, there was an "awwww" moment; about 10 minutes after being left all to my lonesome in the office and just as I had snuffed my cigarette out, there comes someone a-knockin' on the door. Tap! Tap! Tap! I open it and there he is, with a bunch of flowers in his hand and that signature smirk on his face. Like he was telling me, "Betcha didn't see this coming." Awwww. :)
Plus! It was Cherie's birthday and she gave us the opportunity to have a romantic walk along Ayala avenue, amidst the noise and smoke of the CBD so we could meet her at the foot of the building where she didn't work. HAHAHA happy 22nd cheriepie! :) |
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| Tell me if this evangelism going too far. |
[Jan. 28th, 2008|12:47 am] |
For those who haven't heard, Westboro Baptist Church (I can't remember from which state) evangelist Shirley Phelps, together with all its church members, has been causing a humongous ruckus by announcing that they will be holding picket lines at Heath Ledger's funeral. The reason? Because he played a gay role in the movie Brokeback Mountain. It's because of this that they say Heath Ledger is now in hell. They believe that America is doomed because they tolerate homosexuality and the war in Iraq is just punishment. The church members have been holding pickets outside fallen soldiers' funerals in protest to homosexuality and the country condoning it!
These clips we're enough to make my chest explode.
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| Massacre! |
[Jan. 11th, 2008|01:08 am] |
In the office, as I was aimlessly wasting away, chatting with Lea (yes, this is what I do in the "office"; at least for now ehe), she directed me to Ala Paredes' blog. What started out as a solution to my boredom (reading about Alicia Keys moments and about her being a barista in Sydney) turned into a sad discovery. I clicked on one of the links (http://pansitan.net) and it turned out to a community forum. Entry #2 had my whole attention from that point on.
I was able to read a post concerning a certain group called the Bacolod Air Rifle Hunting Club. Obviouly, members of this group indulge in hunting wild birds and kill large numbers of birds in every hunt. To make a long story short, several Philippine foundations and individuals have made a move to put a stop to these grizzly acts. I couldn't help but sign the petition. They need to reach the 10,000 signature target in order for any action to take place.
I know it' probably cheesy and and i'm gonna look like a tree hugger (or animal-hugger? hmmm) but if it moves you enough, I encourage you guys to sign this petition. Hunting in itself, I believe, isn't a bad thing. But to do so in such an abusive manner is going overboard.
Check out the following links to find our more about this issue.
http://www.birdwatch.ph/html/news/news20071213.html
http://www.thepetition.com/petition/499874292
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 3rd, 2007|01:38 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  errr | ] |
it doesn't help.
what you're looking for is probably already being given.
what you're bothered by shouldn't even begin to affect you acutely.
what you're thinking of shouldn't even be in your head.
what you're feeling shouldn't be felt.
its sad and pathetic how crawling back into the cave feels so familiar. |
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| its f*ckin nonsense |
[Nov. 29th, 2007|11:47 am] |
i just want something to go right. i want something to go my way. just for once.
and you, why the hell don't you just shut fuck up? |
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| the end is the beginning is the end |
[Oct. 8th, 2007|03:01 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  errr | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Christopher Cross - Sailing??? | ] |
what did i say? oh yeah..
hats off to us my rugged sisters! we finally made it. :)
now we can be clueless, aimless, and err..jobless? HAHAHA nah, we got bright futures ahead. :)
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on another note, little brother turned 20 on the same day! not so little anymore, eh? well, he hasn't been little since he was 16 i think. pacute picture coming soon! HAHAHAHA! ya like that, huh? |
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| it's time to grow up eh? |
[Sep. 7th, 2007|10:14 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | the house | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  wehehehe | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | michael jackson - billy jean | ] |
so it's been a day over a week since my academic life officially ended and this is where i find myself: aimlessly wasting my time and i actually found the energy to go lj again because of the total lack of things to do! and the occasional download-then-watch scenario. so this is how it is to be gasp! unemployed. well, ok, so my korean-tutoring may gimme a few bucks but the fact that my student actually computed and assessed my salary (plus his disheartening "ugh..tsk tsk tsk!" while looking at final figure) has made me realize things i otherwise wouldn't have. huh? what. basta, kelangan ko na ng gagawin!
joon: teacher, you get 60 peso? 55 peso? per hour?
cay: 60 pesos! how did you know that?
joon: JUST!! i know, i am genius.
cay: that's embarassing for me.
joon: it's ok! so you work 3 hours a day? for 5 days? and you get money every two week?
cay: yes...
joon: *computes my salary and even deducts the tax* ugh! not good! this should be just your pocket money! you should work more so you get more money!!!
baguio in a few hours! wala na talaga akong ginagawa. i love it! HAHAHAHA
raffco girls: can you believe 3.5 tayo?? :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 11th, 2007|11:47 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  weee | ] |
5 months. and counting.
my, my, how time flies. you've got such a way with it, don't you?
i love you jm :) |
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| rant |
[Aug. 2nd, 2007|11:52 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | BC Camplight - Blood and Peanut Butter | ] |
i just talked my ass off on how much you frustrate me right now. it's not a big thing to ask, really. i just don't get what's so hard about making an effort to be present, even in the most impersonal way. |
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| oh how things have changed |
[Jul. 21st, 2007|01:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  ohooo | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Citizen Cope - Mistaken I.D. | ] |
i miss us. |
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| it's been a long, long time |
[Jul. 12th, 2007|09:23 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | huyuuuuuu | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Daft Punk - some song i dunno | ] |
the title is there for so many reasons. i shall blog in a futile attempt to organize random thoughts that never seem to fall in order in my no-longer creative head. huhu.
1. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell. dry spell!!!
2. who'd have thought four months could go by so fast? i mean lightning-speed fast! and this period - which seems as if it's been so long but still kinda short, so fast but kinda slow, full of sense but still kinda crazy - in undeniably one of the happiest in my life. so, is this the way it feels to get something you absolutely, undeniably really really wanted?
3. nothing cazn describe the feeling of being with someone who goes beyond special, who goes beyond being a friend, who goes beyond being just a person in your life. and she couldn't have put it any better. after a love-drought for weeks on end, sex after shuttles (HAHAHA) is exactly what we needed. i know some people don't believe in the concept of a "best friend", but i do. and i know exactly why i've got my upong, and why i can't not have her in my life. :)
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fall out boy is coming to manila! ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) sanguinedrama, taraaaa!
as per advice of ze thesis adviser, looks like there's a fat chance my crew and i are staying in school for one more term. frigginini. #_# |
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| i'm sorry this is the way it is. |
[Jun. 26th, 2007|01:23 am] |
the only thing i'm asking for is a little bit of patience. i'm sorry i'm not taking things as well as you'd like me to. i'm sorry i didn't have enough balls to spill and ask. i'm sorry, i thought i'd gotten everything i needed.
and i'd wish things differently but this is the way it is. and the only thing i really wanna prove to you is that i'm that person who won't fail and fold on you.
can't you see that i'm hanging on for dear life? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 25th, 2007|12:40 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  uuuuuu | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Sandwich - Sugod | ] |
i've never really been the best writer but the past few months have just been so unbelievably dry! nothing. nada. zip. not an ounce of creative juice flows. is this to be taken as a sign of lack of depth? has my life taken a turn for the worse that it seems too superficial to even pay any attention to? dear lord noooo! :(
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well finally after two years in vain, i finally get to attend fete de la musique! and although the weather was uncooperative and the roads were wet, it proved to be fun. the only disappointing thing about it was the fact that too many bands cancelled their gigs and you'd have to trek wet roads again in order to transfer to a stage with other performances to make you forget about your frustration. but i love watching a band live for the first time - it's like there's nothing else you can do but love them more. the energy of a live performance is just intoxicating and though i'm not the wildest audience, watching a gig is definitely one of those things i love. till the next fete! (greetings to: andy, jay, the fantastic four -1, and jig. next year ulit!)
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i feel like you're too big a person for me. it's not that i feel like i'm nothing compared to you. it's just that you're one of those people everyone else admires, especially me. and seeing, in close proximity, how great you are makes me wanna be just as great. i just don't know how. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2007|10:31 pm] |
today was a day for people like him and he just wanted to make it special. simple, but worth the time spent. he wanted to get out and try to enjoy the day like they used to not so long ago. and though you could say that certain things were "missing", it was definitely one of the days worth remembering.
he tries. i know he tries hard. sometimes, i don't give him enough credit and i judge him for the things he can't do. and that's unfair on my part; too harsh for someone who owes almost everything to this man. i look at where he is and what he's got, and think that this isn't what he deserves - he deserves more. for that, i don't know who or what to blame. whatever he's got, however little, goes to people other than him. mostly to those two who hang on to him.
whatever he's done, whatever he's said, whatever he's lacking - these things i may count and take against him. but in the end, i just go back to caring for him and holding him in high regard. for everything he's been through and for everything he hasn't.
happy father's day to your dads. :) |
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blah blah blah *(!%^#^&$!@
what?!